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Monday, October 03, 2005
wife vs. mother-in-law...
i have read many articles so far in japan how mothers overdotes their sons, even after their marriage and stuff.. well here is another case hehe...
found this interesting, so i copied the whole article over (from mainichi news of course)...
Wives wish their mother-in-laws from hell would go to the devil
Shukan Bunshun (9/29)"The main sources of conflict between the husband's mother and the wife are usually the grandchildren, money, relationships between the husband and the wife's family and, of course, the husband himself," family counselor Hiromi Ikeuchi tells Shukan Bunshun (9/29).
On that note, the magazine set off on a two-week hunt for family discord. It had no difficulty whatsoever getting wives to open up and relate their favorite horror stories.
First, Shukan Bunshun introduces the case of a husband who got the family into debt due to his heavy gambling losses. Without discussing it with his wife, he went blubbering to his mother for help and advice. Her reaction? She gave her son's wife a thorough tongue lashing.
"She harangued me, saying, "My son is so chickenhearted, there's no way he could have got himself into such a mess on his own,'" the 37-year-old woman relates. "Then she said to me, 'Admit it -- weren't you connected with gangsters before you married him? Did they put the squeeze on you?'"
"When I told her she was completely wrong, she said to me, 'Stop quibbling! It's your fault this happened to my precious son!'"
Of course it doesn't take a major crisis to get on each other's nerves.
"Once my mother in law prepared breakfast for me," a 39-year-old woman relates. "She served two fried eggs on a single plate. 'I only had two left, so there's nothing for you,' she told me. Well, you'd think if she had two eggs, couldn't she share one with me?"
Many brides' woes stem from mothers' emotional attachment to their sons.
"She never buys anything for her grandchildren, but she'll lavish gifts on her son, like articles of underwear or clothes," one wife complains.
"She's so nuts about her son, when I try to conserve the household expenditures, she'll admonish me for being 'bimbo-kusai' (affecting an air of poverty)," mutters another. "Well, I wouldn't have to pinch pennies if the bloke brought home a decent wage!"
Of course, opportunities for disagreement are all the more common when mother and daughter-in-law reside under the same roof.
Like the mother who stood by the door each morning to issue her son a clean hanky and freshly pressed necktie as he prepared to leave the house.
"Once while we were having tea," the wife recalls, "his mom got to talking on the subject of a 'gyaku-tama' marriage (i.e., when a man marries a woman of a higher social or financial status than his own) involving one of my husband's classmates. She turned to him and asked, 'Weren't you also once considered a candidate for your company president's daughter?'"
When these relationships becomes intolerable, it's no surprise that some marriages end in divorce. Ms. Ikeuchi recalls a case where a husband often became violent when in his cups. One night while staggering drunk, he kicked over a bar's sign and was detained by the police. Not wanting his wife to learn of his disgraceful behavior, he asked the police to call his mother to secure his release. The mother, predictably, turned the blame on her daughter-in-law.
"The reason he didn't want the police to call you is because you're the source of his drinking problem!" the mother chastised her -- this despite the wife had also been on the receiving end of violence during his drunken rages. "He hits you because you don't show your love for him," she exclaimed.
That, reports Ikeuchi, was the straw that broke the camel's back. The wife soon filed for divorce.
Next week, Shukan Bunshun promises to give mothers-in-law a chance to tell their side of the story.
will be interesting to see the mothers-in-law side of the story... hehe.. if it is published, will let you ppl see too..
posted by winz at 10:16 AM
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